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Thanks for the comment BREN!

Well, Brenna is right, that first picture sucks. I look like a EMO teen boy! Gosh, I hope I don't look like that all the time. I cannot find my camera. So, Joe took the pictures with his blackberry and all I got were two chances. You would never know people used to pay me money for taking my picture. Oh, I just had a thought! I think I look like Eddie Munster! Wasn't that the son's name on the Munsters. crap, I look like a Munster!

New Hair AGAIN!!

So, I decided to go back to red. I REALLY liked being blonde, but I feel more like myself red. Also, it's really expensive to keep the blonde up. The new red is a little darker than I might like, but it's growing on me. It's a little shocking to me. Oh, and Joe took the pictures and is way over taking my picture. He wouldn't wait for me to make a semi normal face. It's my fault because I am never happy with the pcitures and I make he take several trying to get a good one.

Christmas Spirit...a day late

Okay, so I have had the HARDEST time getting in the Christmas Spirit. I have gone through the motions. Listened to the music, baked all the stuff, watched the movies, but still just kinda blah. Not Bah humbug, but just blah. Usually, I have on the Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving and listen to nothing else at all. But, this year I have found myself starting out with "holly Jolly Christmas" and then somehow get to "walk like a ZOmbie" .....
I really think it's because a lot of our traditions, we just can't do this year. Joe and I usually take Bella to Nashville for the ICE exhibit. It's amazing! But, this year we are short on time. Joe's sister and Brother-in-law usually have a big caroling party, but not this year. And the biggest thing I am missing is Kansas. I think there are just 2-3 times in my whole life I have not gone back for Christmas. When I was younger we were there for Christmas, but now everyone in my immediate family can't go, We go the day after Christmas. But, this year I can't go. Joe tried very hard to make it happen. He found a great deal on tickets and was going to suprise me. He even called my boss so I could get the time off. My boss called him back and told him that he had rearranged the whole schedule and I could have all the time off I needed except for this Sat. That is really nice and I really appreciate him trying to accomadate, but the deal Joe found had to fall over that Sat. So, now I have a bunch of time off except for Sat. For me Kansas and Christmas go hand in hand. I feel this desperate need to be there. I have a big family and I am close to most of my cousins and VERY close to my Aunts and Uncles and I can't begin to tell you how much my Gram means to me. My Grandfather dies last Feb. and I never realized how much I would miss him. My Gram and I can talk and talk. We are very similar in a lot of ways. My Grandfather was more quiet and our relationship was different. But, he was just someone I loved and counted on being there. A permemnt fixture. Now, that he is gone I am realizing that more of those "fixtures" will not always be there.
Kansas always held the perfect Christmas for me. I loved that even though we lived far and didn't get to see family as much as we wanted, when we came back we just fell into place. I know things change and I have traditions with my little family that I hold so dear but I can't help miss the candlelight service at the church in Wellington (when they turned off the lights and it was just the candles,it was magic to me when I was little), the way snow literally glistened on the fields, the hot candy and carrot cookies at Gram's, the cousin reunion on Dixie's, Christmas at my Aunt Pat's house, sitting around the table at the farm just talking and eating. I still can feel it, smell it, just everything.
I know this is a huge post and if you have made it this far, thank you for reading and having patience. Please, don't get me wrong. I am so grateful for what I have here in Georgia. I can never put into words how thankful I am for Joe. Whatever I can say is just not enough and seems trite. The reason I named this Christmas spirit a day late is because I did find my Christmas spirit, yesterday. I had SUCH a good Christmas with my family. We just had the best time being together. I am so thankful for my sisters and their families, my parents, and my Joe and Bella.

Crazy lights

Over the weekend we stayed at Joe's parents house to celebrate christmas with them. Saturday night, Joe's parents and one of his brothers and his wife went to a Christmas party while we stayed at the house with Joe's sister, Jane and her husband Peter. We had Bella and the brother at the party's kids. They had made cookies earlier in the day. So, Peter and Jane had a great idea to box them up and take them to the firehouse and police station as a "thank you and Merry Christmas" The girls made Christmas cards and were so excited to give them to the fireman. It was the cutest thing to see these sweet little girls handing out the Christmas cookies and cards to the fireman and policemen. The fireman and policemen seemed really suprised and very grateful. After that we drove around and looked at Christmas lights. (I learned that I don't have much patience when I am sitting in the very back of our mini van next to two giggiling girls) I was very impressed. There were two house inpaticular that just went NUTS! I don't know when these people start setting up, but I wouldn't be suprised if it was before Thanksgiving. It's really neat to see people do things just for fun. I am so tired of people cancelling fun things due to the "economy". Life goes on people! Anyhow, enjoy the pictures.

Swap

we spent the weeking with Joe's Family to celbrate Christmas. When we got home late last night I was so excited to see a package on my front porch! I was like a little kid, I ran up the stairs and grabbed it. I was so excited when I opened it. My cousin Leslie had my name in the Winter swap my sister, Brenna organized. It had slipper socks, bath and body works hand soap, a beauituful scarf, adorable home made notecards, homemade snack mix, notepads, and a really cute ornament. Thank you so much Leslie! I LOVE<>

Here we go again,

About every six months or so, Joe and I go through this. We start thinking about having another baby. Not to go into too much detail, but my pregnancy with Bella was not a cake walk. I know a lot of women go through a lot worse than what I did, but not being able to drive was a big pain in the butt. This time I wouldn't have the luxury of Brenna driving me around. The driving issue was due to the horrible migraines that I would get that effect my vision and sometimes speech. At one point we thought I might have a tumor. I really have a chari malformation. It's where a part of your brain hangs down into your neck putting pressure on your spinal chord. Sounds crazy, but mine is not as bad as it could be. I also had some heart issues, too. But, the delivery went great and Bella was beautiful and perfect! So, it was completley worth it.
For awhile the conversation of having another baby was about giving Bella a sibling. I was really worried about her being alone. But, that has changed. I don't worry about that so much. She won't be alone. It's morphed into more wondering if our family is complete. How do you know? I have talked to some people who just know they are done, but the feeling lingers for me. We have thought about adopting, but we just do not have the money and frankly I am a little frightened of putting Bella through possibly loosing a sibling. I know even if we had a biological baby there is a chance somthing could happen. I am also nervous because I know some people who kinda scare me away from having more kids because of how gard it is. i am not scared of hard, but we have kind of hit our groove. I just don't know what to do.
This is a little off the subject, but a lot of people have told me to pray about it and I have for years. Sometimes, I think because we haven't had another child, that is our answer. But, I really would like to feel peace about it and I just don't. I get frustrated when i hear people say "god said" or "god spoke to me" Do they mean they heard God speaking to them or do they just get a feeling. Because I can make myself think things. Don't get me wrong I have seen god work in my life. I see it and aknowlede it. give it full respect.
I don't know if it would even be possible. Last time we were thinking about having a baby, I asked my primary Dr what he thought and he litterally winced and said that I needed to ask my obgyn and if thought it was okay then he would recommend a high risk dr. for me. I asked my obgyn and he did the same thing and said I needed to get my cardiologist on board. So, I went to the cardiologist and didn't even get to the baby talk because he said he found a small hole in my heart and that kinda threw me for a loop. my primary said that he didn't feel like the hole was a big deal. I never get straight answers. So, as I am writing this I realize this might all be a mute point or a "moo" point.

I am trying to redecorate my bedroom. It the last place always to be cleaned and if company is comming I throw stuff in there and shut the door. So, it's just a ridiculous mess. I picked out a new paint color for the walls. It's a gray. Sounds dreary, but I have bright things on the walls and the comforter I want id purple. So, it might work. i always think painting is going to be so much fun and then not even half way through I decide that it is not so much fun! joe painted bella's room a really pretty pink color and hung these cute cupcake things everywhere. I have to give him a lot of credit. i don't know if other husbands do this, but he gets really into helping decorate the house. Sometimes, I don't love the things he wants to put up (wooden Johnny Cash picture, I love johnny Cash, but the picture is a really upclose picture decopoged to a wooden board. Joe didn't make it or I would just let it go) But, I can't say much because he didn't say one word when I asked him to hang my autographed Framed Twilight poster in our bedroom.

Girl Power

I am not a feminist, man basher. I love my husband and men in general. But, sometimes there are things that just make me proud to be a woman. It sounds kinda silly, but last Sat. we had this great singer/songwriter perform at the Crimson Moon. (another reason I love my job, I get to see amazing people perform) Her name is Jenifer Daniels. She was just amazing. Imagine a really enthusastic Sarah Mcglaughlin (I know I didn't spell it right, but you get the point). She was really great. It makes me wonder how she is not at the top of the charts and songs like Womanizer are number 1. (I have to admit that I like that song, but it doesn't take much talent. I could have Bella say womanizer over and over again and put music behind it and get close to the same outcome. I'm not Brittney bashing, because she is a guilty pleasure for me. Her music rocks on the treadmill..I'm way off point) ANYWAY, she was HUGE pregnant, with TWINS and singing so beautifully and dancing around the stage and playing her guitar. She just was amazing. Did I say amazing? cause she was. The pictures are kinda bad because I took them with my phone, but I loved the way she had to play her guitar on the side because of her baby belly. check out her website www.jenniferdaniels.com

To answer your question

Yes, I do take a bad picture, and often. But, thank you so much for asking.... Why was it a good idea to stand like this and right in front of everyone else in the picture?

DisneyWorld has a strange effect on me, like a "I have to try on every stupid hat" effect

hmmmmm......well, I dunno...

Best for last, this is what Joe calls "Dj Wifey" When I call Joe on his Blackberry, this is the picture that shows up. He thinks it soooo funny and EVERY time he says "yo, yo, what up DJ Wifey" and laughs like it's the first time I've heard him say it. I will never live this picture down.

Me in all my TWERD glory!!

So, I made a wreath for the very first time. Joe spray painted the wreath black for me. The picture isn't very good. The flowers on the bottom are not as white as they look. They have more red in them and the apples are shiny red. The wreath is probably REALLY ugly, but I have worked on it so long, I can't tell.

Inspired by Nat

Okay, so i am very fed up with my hair. I like the blonde, but it's fried. I have liked the short, but not as much as I liked the bob I did have. I'm just kind of over it. I wish I could be one of those people who really doesn't care what other people think, but i have had more than one person tell me I was better as a red head. Joe doesn't care either way. I could literally have bright purple hair and he would think thats just fine. (he's the best) There is a hair style that I have really really wanted, but felt I was too old to try it. Then I saw the same picture on Natalie's blog and I commented to her that she should go for it. But, I'm too chicken. I can't decide what to do with my hair!!!! It's stupid to stress this much about hair, but I think it looks horrible right now. The bottom picture is what I want, but am chicken to try. The top one is what I feel I look like in the a.m.

Charades

After our awesome Thanksgiving dinner we played Charades. Before then, I don't remember the last time I played that game. We had sooo much fun. Some of the things people had to act out were Dirty Dancing, leg warmers, thighmaster, break dancing, Sweatin to the oldies, and Mystery Alaska. This game produced great pictures.

Found it!!!

I guess I should have asked Joe before I tore the house and my car apart trying to find it. He had it. But, here are the pictures from Thanksgiving.

So, I have a bunch of great pictures from Thanksgiving, BUT I can't find my camera. I know it will turn up. Always does, but it's really annoying! I loose everything and so does Joe. Usually we always find what we are looking for, but gosh it's frustrating. How did we find eachother? So stay tuned...