I feel like I am always at a fork in the road. I guess it is good because I do not like to sit still. As much as I hate change, I hate getting stagnent. But, I would like to for just once not have to make a big descion. This year Bella is in Kindergarten and we have started Homechooling her. The original idea to homeschool her cam because of her severe dairy allergy. We didn't have a great experiance in preschool. Bascically, the teacher didn't take it seriously and would give her food withought checking the ingredients when she wasn't supposed to give her ANYTHING. It scared the crap out of me. So, we thought homeschooling for at least Kindergarten was a good idea. Then I started talking to other homeschhol moms and found out there are a ton of other reason why homeschooling is a good choice. We are kind of free spirited and it just seemed to fit with our lifestyle. But, now that we have gotten started I am going a little insane. (more than normal lol) It's basically just Bella and I 24 hours a day. Joe comes in around 7-7:30 on a good night and by the time we eat he is so tired he can't stay awake. Bella and I are both night owls. It's hard to be in a different town with no friends. I am not trying to be whiny. It just sucks that I have to pick between my home and my family being together. It's really a no brainer, family is ALWAYS first. Things might be different when we are back in are own town and our own house. I would just like a little time to just be me. I hope this isn't comming out whiny, but it's just Bella and I in this little house most of the day. We do go to the beach and go do other little things, but I am trying to save money and the jellyfish are crazy down here.
Yep, I'm being whiny.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Posted by Erin at 7:57 PM
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6 comments:
No you are not being whiny. I think that being away from your home and on a different schedule is very hard. I think homeschool is very hard, I couldn't/wouldn't do it. I need Brenna time. I don't think that homeschool affords a lot of that. I think some people are okay with that and it works for them. I think you are having a funky couple of weeks. When you get back home & in your groove things will seem clearer. If you are a happy mommy, Bella will be a happy Bella.
thanks for posting pics of where you are...it's nice to be able to picture it. I miss you! Come home! (but of course I'm glad you get to be with your sweet hubby...he's so good to you.) Whine all you want, hon. You are among friends. We all know some days are better than others. Alex was a pest yesterday. All day long. I was ready to scream and run away. Hopefully a good night's sleep will make a difference. Have fun! (but come home soon) :)
Ok you know what I said to you already. I do think that homeschooling can be a great thing. I do ahve a friend who homeschools and it is great for their kids. What I do know is she is unhappy because she no longer has something that is hers. She spends her days doing homeschool and her nights taking care of her family. She would love nothing more than to send them to school so she can finish her school and become a nurse. She feels like she is on hold. Unfortunately(sp?) she has a husband despite the fact he loves her, will not budge on the school issue. He thinks that is her job period. My point is I think you are more than a homeschool teacher. I think that you are supposed to be either an animal rescuer/vet tech/farm worker/animal something. OR a special education elementary teacher. That is what I think. Also I think that you and Bella need time apart. I think it is hard on your relationship no matter who you are. I think you plan should be:
1. when you get home you and Joe schedule a tour and meeting with the school in your district.
2. If you decide to go ahead and give homeschool a try, have it in your head as a trial period and do it until Christmas break.
3. At Christmas break decide if you want to keep at it or send her to school after the break.
4. If you do decide to sen her to school in a couple of weeks then go back to the farm.
You were so happy and content when you were working there. Sending Bella to school could be good. It is scary at first but when they come home happy you know its going to be ok.
Look up (MOPS) and other play groups in the area.Look up homeschool groups in that area,on (heir.org).I am not sure how long you will be down their,but its worth a try just to get to know and meet others,get an outlet etc.
Kelli said most everything I was going to say! You are not a bad mom for needing time away. I used to feel so guilty for wanting to be ALONE for awhile. It's not a bad thing, you love her no less, etc. Homeschooling is not for everyone. It's a huge committment on the Mom's part(sometimes Dad's) and like Kelli said, there is no break in there. You guys will make the right decision. Hang in there!
hey. just come home, so we can go out to dinner!
i know exactly what you're saying. i think homeschooling can be so tricky because it seems like it offers so much flexibility, but there has to be a structure in place to make it work. being out of your environment just makes it harder on you. i think you'll know soon if this is the right choice for your family. you know how i've wrestled with the same issue(and still do). bekah is doing well in school and things are okay, but i know deep down, i would love to be her teacher. we are going to stick out this year and then figure out what we want to do moving forward. i will say, i don't think the allergies would be as big of a problem here as they were last year. the school is so rigid, and she really wouldn't come in contact with anything other than what you packed her. i have been pleasantly surprised with the way the kindergarten classes are kept separate from the other grades and kids... and there have been a few things i'm not too crazy about. i guess i'm rambling. i think you guys are set up for great success either way. you two adore your little girl, and whether you are her teacher or someone else is, you will always put her needs first. call if you want to chat. i miss you!
steph
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