Cherry Mash

So, it didn't work out. Things got too stressful and too crazy. I'm kinda at a loss for words. This was extremly hard. I could go on and on about how crazy things were and how this was effecting my family. I feel so bad for the baby. But, I have to think of my family first. We were trying to do something good and trying to help a baby. There was so much we didn't count on. I'm trying not to be too detailed since this is public blog and who knows who will read it. But, basically, we had no support from DFACS. We were kept in the dark about evcerything. I know that is to be expected in Fostering but this was excessive. The last person who was supposed to be calling the shots, was. Joe and I had a meeting with the Social Worker's supervisor on Friday. We had several concerns for the way this was headed. She apologized over and over. We dropped him off for his visitation and when I came back to pick him up the supervisor met me at my car and said she had great news that they found a great placement with a family member for the baby. They were excited about it. She thanked us and apologized again. She also let me know that this is not the typical fostering situation and she hoped this didn't deter us from fostering int he future. next time, if there is a next time, we will definaltly try to foster a child from a different county. This town is way too small!!! I wasn't expecting to not have him come home with me. I feel like this has worked out, but it was hard just to get back in my car and walk away. I wanted so bad for it work out and to help this baby. The supervisor told me that we had served a good purpose and she felt like it happened for a reason this way. Because the family member he went to wasn't able to take him last week and if we hadn't been there he wouldn't have had anywhere to go. But, since we were there he had a good home until the family member could take him. That made me feel better. It was still a miserable day. I had some great friends go shopping with me. They were very supportive. however, when I went into work to pick up my check, the Baby's mom had been there all day and told people that I just abandoned her baby at the DFACS office. That Joe and I had showed up at DFACS and just dropped him off saying we were done. No one belived her. But, it hurt. AGain, too small of a town! I felt I had to defend myself and say that is NOT what happened. We didn't know he wasn't comming back home with us. Having to walk away was so hard and continues to be hard and to have someone throw it in my face just hurts. We never expected any of this. We had the best intentions and hopes. Just a week ago, we weren't expecting a baby at all. And now, ..gosh my head is spinning and I have all kinds of new hurts. This wasn't the right time for any of this, Joe and I knew this. But, we thought we should try for the baby's sake. I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. Right now just sucks. I know I was vague and cryptic and if you call or email, I will explain. But, because this is a public blog I have to be this way.