Happy Thoughts

So, I realized that my posts recently are very "debbie downer" type. So, much I I am getting tired of myself. LOL So, to change my attitude and attempt to be more upbeat. I will show you there have been good things going on. I have been going a little stir crazy waiting on my consultation with the surgeon next week. I am hopinghe will say "oh, it was a fluke. Your fine. Surgery can wait." My friend told me that was called denial. lol I told her Denial is a nice place to visit. lol ANYWAY, We Bella finished her first year of Kindergarten and it went really well. I hated having to work so much. But, her teachers were awesome. They always greeted her with hugs and that helped. We had very few days of crying and not wanting to go. She finished the year with Feild Day. She got a first place ribbon for Simon Says. It cracked me up that she didn't get a ribbon for a foot race or tug of war but, Simon Says. I was proud. lol Bella is also taking swimming lessons. We are hoping it "clicks" this year and she will swim. Keeping my fingers crossed that the third year of swimming lessons will do the trick. She starts Vacation Bible school next week. So, we are doing good. depite my complaints and gripes, I am very thankful for every moment and every second.

So, it didn't work out. Things got too stressful and too crazy. I'm kinda at a loss for words. This was extremly hard. I could go on and on about how crazy things were and how this was effecting my family. I feel so bad for the baby. But, I have to think of my family first. We were trying to do something good and trying to help a baby. There was so much we didn't count on. I'm trying not to be too detailed since this is public blog and who knows who will read it. But, basically, we had no support from DFACS. We were kept in the dark about evcerything. I know that is to be expected in Fostering but this was excessive. The last person who was supposed to be calling the shots, was. Joe and I had a meeting with the Social Worker's supervisor on Friday. We had several concerns for the way this was headed. She apologized over and over. We dropped him off for his visitation and when I came back to pick him up the supervisor met me at my car and said she had great news that they found a great placement with a family member for the baby. They were excited about it. She thanked us and apologized again. She also let me know that this is not the typical fostering situation and she hoped this didn't deter us from fostering int he future. next time, if there is a next time, we will definaltly try to foster a child from a different county. This town is way too small!!! I wasn't expecting to not have him come home with me. I feel like this has worked out, but it was hard just to get back in my car and walk away. I wanted so bad for it work out and to help this baby. The supervisor told me that we had served a good purpose and she felt like it happened for a reason this way. Because the family member he went to wasn't able to take him last week and if we hadn't been there he wouldn't have had anywhere to go. But, since we were there he had a good home until the family member could take him. That made me feel better. It was still a miserable day. I had some great friends go shopping with me. They were very supportive. however, when I went into work to pick up my check, the Baby's mom had been there all day and told people that I just abandoned her baby at the DFACS office. That Joe and I had showed up at DFACS and just dropped him off saying we were done. No one belived her. But, it hurt. AGain, too small of a town! I felt I had to defend myself and say that is NOT what happened. We didn't know he wasn't comming back home with us. Having to walk away was so hard and continues to be hard and to have someone throw it in my face just hurts. We never expected any of this. We had the best intentions and hopes. Just a week ago, we weren't expecting a baby at all. And now, ..gosh my head is spinning and I have all kinds of new hurts. This wasn't the right time for any of this, Joe and I knew this. But, we thought we should try for the baby's sake. I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. Right now just sucks. I know I was vague and cryptic and if you call or email, I will explain. But, because this is a public blog I have to be this way.

Mi Vida Loca!

Sooooo several posts ago I was talking about a gorl who brought her baby into my work a lot. Well, no said baby is living with us. it kinda snowballed and just happened all of the sudden. He was living with her family and that didn't work out and Joe and I voluntered. Honestly, I didn't think it would happen because we don't really know her or the baby. But, We just felt like this is a child in need and we should step up and it least put it out there. Last Thursday we got a call from DFACS asking if they could do a homestudy. So, Joe came home from work and they came and did the homestudy and we were sent for drug tests and background check. I still didn't think it would happen or if it did it wouldn't be that fast. But, yesterday they called us at 3 to come it at 4 and by 5 he was home with us. this is temporary as his Mom is working to get him back. I hope she does because I know she loves him. I can't say this isn't stressful and at a time when I have been trying to cut the stress in my life down and this may not work out. But, I felt "called" to try. I don't say that lightly. I just felt like things were laid out to at least try to give him a safe home for at least a little while. The baby is just awesome. He is the smiliest baby. you can just look at him and he will give you a huge smile. I am not worried about him. He is great. the stress comes from the people in his life. There is a little drama that we are trying to stay out of at all cost. If we get drawn in we are not going to do it any longer. Bella is our first priority. So, if it even looks like things will be stressful for her. We will end it. So, there you have it.