hmm..I've been avoiding this post

Well, I had my Cardiology appointment on Tuesday. I have been avoiding writing about it because I am just ...well..I don't know. I guess just not wanting to deal with it.
A couple of years ago I had a echocardiogram because of my SVT stuff. When I talked to the Dr. about the findings, I was just expecting the same old same old. I have had I think at least 4 and nothing really ever comes from them. SVT is one of those things that you have to see it while it's happening. But, this time the Dr. said "well, we found a hole in your heart" I was stunned and I asked him what that means and he said "well, it's the size of a pinpoint and it means that maybe when you are a lot older after a long trip you could have a stroke" I was really hurt by the way he just swept it under the rug. I asked my primary care Dr. about it and he said if it was that small to not worry about it and take a baby asprin, which I do. So, when I went to the neurologist following the episode a few weeks ago I mentioned this. He said we needed to check this out and so that is what sent me to the cardiologist. One I had never seen before. i was really impressed. He really listened and asked a bunch of questions and took his time. But, he was concerned about the possible hole because he said this could be the cause if it was in fact a TIA (aka mini stroke). He sent me to the Eco Lab at Emory hospital. The Dr. called on his cell phone and talked directly to the person who would be doing the Echo. I was impressed I didn't have to wait and I liked everyone was communicating. He also let me know the person doing it was the best. So, I went again expecting nothing special. Same old Same old. I had myself convenced that the hole wasn't really there that they had made a mistake and that was why it was just swept under the rug so to speak. But, after taking just a few minutes on different areas, but spending what seemed like forever on just one spot, i kinda figured they found it. She left and said she was going to get a Dr. He was super nice and let me know that they did see the hole. They saw blood going in between the wall of my heart and they weren't sure if it was a whole or a gap. It was explained to me that when we are in the womb our hearts are more or less open and blood and other stuff mixes and then if grows together. Kinda like curtains clsong. It overlaps and seals. They are wondering if mine didn't seal since they see the moving through that wall. Apparently it is somewhat common but they are concerned since i had that episode. He said a whole bunch mroe but it is a way long story and this is already a super long post. But, basicallly I have to go in to the hospital on Tuesday and have this procedure where they sedate me and stick this thing down my throat so they can see the back side of my heart, where they think the problem is and then do something called a bubble test. NONE OF THAT souds like fun. But, that is what's going on just so everyone knows. If I haven't called or retuned calls, this is why. I have been busy with this and working a lot. But, I am scaling back the work because I am overwhelmed. So, again, we shall see.