feelin snazzy!

For the past several weeks I have been really stressed out. Nothing new. I am and always have been a "worrier". I have tried really hard to not worry so much. I try to pray about it and then let it go. If I can't do anything about it I have to let it go. That has helped tremendously with my stress level. But, something I can't help but stress/worry about.
I have SVT (super ventricular tachycardia). It is a pretty common thing and a lot of people who have it do not have much trouble with it. They get flutters or heart racing sometimes. But, you know me! Everything to the extreme. lol Mine has always given me trouble ever since I was 15. I have been on beta blockers on and off forever. But, thats not something I was looking forward to doing the rest of my life. Taking medicine like that for most of your life isn't good. In recent years other health issues have come up so this has taken a back seat. But, this year I had some really scary episodes. So, my cardiologist said enough was enough and I needed to have the procedure to fix this. But, my stupid insurance refused it. I filed a complaint with the insurance commissioners office (thanks Mom and Dad for pushing me to do this) and they finally came through. I had my procedure scheduled for Sept. 15. But, on Sept. 1 as I was sitting on the couch with Bella My heart started not beating right and then racing. When I tell people my heart was beating fast I am sure they think "oh well, when I run or do aerobics my heart beats fast. What's the big deal?" Well, it's not the same. For starters mine will be beating at 75 and in a split second race. It's not gradual. It's all at once. Second, it's not a normal fast beat. It's a hard beat that feels unnatural. So hard it shakes my body and it's hard to breath and it hurts. I can barely talk when it happens. This particular time I could tell it was different from the start. It was just sooo fast I couldn't count the beats. I grabbed Bella and raced to the car. I know I should have called an ambulance but most of the time the crazy beats will stop and be normal as fast as they start. But, I wanted to be at least on my way to the hospital if it didn't go back to normal on it's own. Which has been the case in the past. SO, I get to the hospital which is ten minutes away and it starts beating at a normal pace almost the second I get there. SO, I call Joe and tell him I am fine. but he tells me I should go in anyway since it happened for such a long time. Right when I get off the phone with him, it starts right back up beating harder than before and I felt like I was going to pass out. My vision was getting darker. But, I called Joe and he told me to at least open the door to the car in case I did pass out so maybe someone would find me. But, I managed to get out of the car and literally drag myself into the front of the hospital. It was the hardest walk I have EVER taken. The whole time Bella was holding my hand and crying. It was horrible. I kept telling her everything was fine but she could see it wasn't. I felt horrible for her. We made it in the front door of the hospital and I collapsed. The person that worked there and checked people in had the nerve to smile and say "how can I help you" ummm..I think it was pretty obvious by Bella and I crashing through the door I needed some medical help. I told him I have a heart problem and I needed help now. He pointed down the hallway and said the E.R. was that way. I could barely breath let alone walk. Luckily, there was a nurse who heard the whole thing and gave the stupid guy an irritated look and put me in a wheel chair. Poor Joe had called the E.r. and told them I might be int he parking lot. So, they were already looking for me. We live in a VERY small town and I have always been a little more than scared to go to the hospital here. Ever see the Saturday Night Live Skit "Appalachian E.R."? Yeah... But, to my wonderful surprise they were great. They new just what to do and unlike some other E.r. visits I didn't have to waste time trying to explain to them what was happening. Joe had called my boss to come to the hospital (she lives almost across the street from the hospital) to sit with Bella. She got there pretty fast and stayed with Bella in the hallway. It's an incredibly long story from here. But, it was horrible. My heart rate was 250 and they couldn't get it to come down. they gave me this medicine that stops your heart. I have had it before and it is horrible. It is a weird feeling to have your heart not beat in your body and be aware of it. The Dr. said "you know this medicine makes you feel like you are dying?" Yep, i do. But, after my heart stopped and then started again, it started at the 250. they couldn't get it to budge. So, I had to have a second dose. Again, terrible. but after a few minutes it gradually started to fall. After a long while it went back to a normal rate. The whole thing was miserable and very painful and lasted for about an hour. Joe finally got there and my boss to Bella with her. I was put in ICU and spent a lonely night there. Luckily, my good friend Lara sat with me so Joe could go home and take care of some things . But, when he came back he could only stay for 30 minutes. I got to go home the next day. But, on Tuesday Sept. 7 I had the surgery. i was soooo nervous I cried almost all the way there. My Mom and Dad who had been on a cruise celebrating their anniversary, met us at the hospital and sat there the whole time with Joe. Thankfully, I was in capable hands. My Dr.'s are awesome. And I have to say I had a lot of prayers going out for me. Thank you to all who prayed for me. I can't say thank you enough for all the cards and prayers and well wishes. I am feeling a lot better. It wasn't instant. The procedure itself was NOT fun at all. Pretty miserable. My Mom told me that when they brought me out of surgery and into recovery i cried anytime anyone would talk about it. It took more than a few weeks. But, I am doing a lot better.