So I know I said I was going to come back to my blog....

I kinda let that drop didn't I? lol Well, I ment well.
We had a wonderful Christmas and i hope anyone who might still read my blog did ,too!
We had a great New year. we went caving with some friends and family. i love caving! it was one of several great things joe brougt to the table that is our relationship. lol Seriously, I can't imagine not caving.
But, with the New year somehow I buy into the hype and reflect on last year and think about what I did wrong and how I can change it. Isn't that what resolutions really are? I am actually pretty okay. I mean there are things I want to do differently and change. (my big rear end that I am sitting on is one. where did that come from?) But, all in all, I think I had a pretty kick ass year last year. One of my very favorite things to do is travel. I hate being still or stagnant and i got to do a lot of traveling. I had some pretty scary health stuff, but I pulled through with help of great Dr.s and amazing friends and family. I also made a bunch of new friends this year and held on to some friends that are near and dear to me. And best of all we made it another year. If you think about it, that's the best thing of all..we made it another year.
Which brings me to the next thing. my birthday is comming up and yes I am getting older. i am really really okay with that. I mean isn't that the point! lol But, recently people (well, one really) has been focused on where they are in life vs how old they are and what they have to show for it. For sure, i would like to be rich, and there are things that I haven't accomplished and probably never will. (I don't think I am going to win an oscars or have a commercial I am in played during the super bowl at this point. I mean you never know. But, i doubt it.) i guess I judge things differently. AS long as my family is happy, the people around me are happy, I am really okay. I used to have all these high expectations on what I was going to do with my life. I still do sometimes. Hmm.. that sounds weird. i still expect a lot out of life and strive for things and set goals. But, I am not crushed if I am not suoper rich and famous or something. i love being a Mom and wife. my goals are more about my family and their happiness than they are about what kind of car i drive or how big my house is. Okay, I was all riled up when i started writing this. But, I have kinda simmered down and lost steam. lol so, whatever..Happy New year!

Do you ever just feel like shopping?

I am definatley in a shopping mood. If you have ever read Confessions of a Shopaholic, well, I confess that is me but I am on a MUCH smaller scale. It is probably a good think I am not rich because i might shop all the time. When the character, Bex, describes shopping and how happy it makes her..I totally get it. But, we differ in a lot of ways. I will NEVER pay full price. It is very very rare that I do. I love a bargain and will not buy it unless it is. It is not fun for me to shop and pay full price. Tottaly ruins the whole experiance. Well, I have to take this back a little. If I am shopping on etsy or something like that , I do pay the asking price. If it's handmade I undertsnad the work that goes into it so I will happily pay the price. But, otherwise. no. But, it's half the fun to me to hunt for the bargain. Like a couple of weeks ago I got the best pair of levi's jeans at JC Penny for $8 and a cute shirt to go with them for $4! Brand new and really cute. I needed a gown for an event back in July I found one for $14. It was orginally $200. It doesn't matter that I left the dress at home and had to buy a new one once I got there, right? I still plan on wearing the orgial dress somewhere. It is huge and bright orange but I think really really pretty. Maybe I just need to wear it to the grocery store or something. lol
I am also different from bex in the fact that I don't always buy anything when I go shopping. More times than not I just window shop and that is still just as fun. i am not all that materialistic but something about going to the mall, I just love! Since NM is comming out there are a ton of new things I want. But, I will have crossed new lines on insanity if my whole closet is filled with T related stuff! But, here are a few thing I am drooling over. See, this is fun..virtual shopping!
I normally prefer handmade Twilight stuff because the people who read the books get it. But, this stuff is pretty cute!

I haven't fallen off the face of the earth...not yet anyway

i have been sooooooo busy!!! i mean really crazy insanly busy!! Oct. is normally crazy for us anyway but we added two conventions to the mix! We were in Orlando then Chicago and then The caving convention we go to every year. Then to top it off this weekend was GoldRush in Dahlonega. It is a HUGE festival right on our town square! Being a manager at a restraunt on said square I got to work this weekend. It wasn't too bad I had to run the shows Fri. and Sat. night. Just really really late nights.
I have badly neglected my etsy site. Which today I am going to do some housekeeping on it and restock. I have gotten into stamping lately and I made these really reallu cute necklaces for Halloween. You will have to stop by and look. they should be up in the next few hours!

www.scarlettadesigns.etsy.com

Amending nat's birthday fantasy

Natalie commented that the only thing missing from her fantasy birthday was some Twilight. So, it being her birthday I had to correct that. So, here you go Natty.
After we eat all the wicked Cake (because in this fantasy, cake is calorie and fat free) we are walking home and we get harrassed by some guys and this guy comes to our rescue. Better?

Happy Birthday, Nat!

Happy Birthday to my awesome friend, Natalie! I think I have the day right. That would be so typical if I got the day wrong. But, in case I am right here is the birthday day I wish I could give Natalie.
First i would arrange for someone to bring you breakfast in bed. We have to be real ( a little) If I tried to drive to your house and bring it to you, I would oversleep and it would have to be lunch.
Then we would spend the day in a great spa getting facials and mani pedi's
Then we would go to our own private ColdPlay concert and this is would be your cake (and it would say "happy Birthday, Natalie" Not Zoe. lol

Happy Thoughts

So, I realized that my posts recently are very "debbie downer" type. So, much I I am getting tired of myself. LOL So, to change my attitude and attempt to be more upbeat. I will show you there have been good things going on. I have been going a little stir crazy waiting on my consultation with the surgeon next week. I am hopinghe will say "oh, it was a fluke. Your fine. Surgery can wait." My friend told me that was called denial. lol I told her Denial is a nice place to visit. lol ANYWAY, We Bella finished her first year of Kindergarten and it went really well. I hated having to work so much. But, her teachers were awesome. They always greeted her with hugs and that helped. We had very few days of crying and not wanting to go. She finished the year with Feild Day. She got a first place ribbon for Simon Says. It cracked me up that she didn't get a ribbon for a foot race or tug of war but, Simon Says. I was proud. lol Bella is also taking swimming lessons. We are hoping it "clicks" this year and she will swim. Keeping my fingers crossed that the third year of swimming lessons will do the trick. She starts Vacation Bible school next week. So, we are doing good. depite my complaints and gripes, I am very thankful for every moment and every second.

So, it didn't work out. Things got too stressful and too crazy. I'm kinda at a loss for words. This was extremly hard. I could go on and on about how crazy things were and how this was effecting my family. I feel so bad for the baby. But, I have to think of my family first. We were trying to do something good and trying to help a baby. There was so much we didn't count on. I'm trying not to be too detailed since this is public blog and who knows who will read it. But, basically, we had no support from DFACS. We were kept in the dark about evcerything. I know that is to be expected in Fostering but this was excessive. The last person who was supposed to be calling the shots, was. Joe and I had a meeting with the Social Worker's supervisor on Friday. We had several concerns for the way this was headed. She apologized over and over. We dropped him off for his visitation and when I came back to pick him up the supervisor met me at my car and said she had great news that they found a great placement with a family member for the baby. They were excited about it. She thanked us and apologized again. She also let me know that this is not the typical fostering situation and she hoped this didn't deter us from fostering int he future. next time, if there is a next time, we will definaltly try to foster a child from a different county. This town is way too small!!! I wasn't expecting to not have him come home with me. I feel like this has worked out, but it was hard just to get back in my car and walk away. I wanted so bad for it work out and to help this baby. The supervisor told me that we had served a good purpose and she felt like it happened for a reason this way. Because the family member he went to wasn't able to take him last week and if we hadn't been there he wouldn't have had anywhere to go. But, since we were there he had a good home until the family member could take him. That made me feel better. It was still a miserable day. I had some great friends go shopping with me. They were very supportive. however, when I went into work to pick up my check, the Baby's mom had been there all day and told people that I just abandoned her baby at the DFACS office. That Joe and I had showed up at DFACS and just dropped him off saying we were done. No one belived her. But, it hurt. AGain, too small of a town! I felt I had to defend myself and say that is NOT what happened. We didn't know he wasn't comming back home with us. Having to walk away was so hard and continues to be hard and to have someone throw it in my face just hurts. We never expected any of this. We had the best intentions and hopes. Just a week ago, we weren't expecting a baby at all. And now, ..gosh my head is spinning and I have all kinds of new hurts. This wasn't the right time for any of this, Joe and I knew this. But, we thought we should try for the baby's sake. I firmly believe there is a reason for everything. Right now just sucks. I know I was vague and cryptic and if you call or email, I will explain. But, because this is a public blog I have to be this way.